Plonker head

Etymology, ever wondered where that came
from? It’s not the sort of thing you’d dine-out
on, regardless how cleverly you played it,
too sort of dry and unhistrionic, not the way
we poets like to play with words.

Take a euphemism, a word or phrase used
instead of a term that might be considered
too direct, derisive or offensive – but meaning,
in a more colloquial sense,
exactly the same thing.

Say we take the term ‘plonker’ (British), marry it
to ‘head’ (an Americanism), and create a
new schism in understanding with ‘plonker head’;
literally a ‘dickhead toilet’, or perhaps a
‘wanker-with-a-head-full-of-shit’.

It doesn’t mean exactly that, it merely suggests
the term dickhead may have a wider
range of feelings attached than the simple,
disparaging report of inexcusable social failings
addressed to some geeky, maladroit inept.

So the next time someone raises your ire
use the epithet ‘plonker head’ and see what
you get. It could be the start of a beautiful
relationship, a succinct battle of wits, or a
hissy fit with limp brandishing of wussy wrists.
© I.D. Carswell