Notes:

For once I am NOT commencing a new poem (or revising an old one), I am simply recording some thoughts in ordinary text to deal with later.

I had recently thought to begin a poem which focussed primarily on structure rather than esoteric poetic elements; it’s something I’ve been keen to do for a while. I learned to identify the main elements and variations in poetic rhythms while at school and I obviously haven’t found a use for the skill since, perhaps correctly so; I honestly never felt the need. Occasionally, variations from basic iambic pentameter rhythms have occurred in my writing, not necessarily by conscious design, but they were embedded in the language chosen at the time. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. What I was thinking of for this exercise was deliberately seeking those rhythmic differences and carrying the poem to conclusion.

And I will. But not tonight.

Tonight I wanted to reflect on how economy of words in poetry either works brilliantly or dismally fails. Too may words is just as bad as too few. If an image is complex and cannot be evoked by a simple phrase it is probably the wrong image; only occasionally is it the fault of the phrase. Usually it’s better to employ a string of simple images in progression to the complex rather than to try and encompass it in one hit - where the result is usually 'techno-gibberish'.

I have occasionally read poetry which is devastatingly simple, almost childlike in fact. But in the instances I am thinking of there were huge gaps between images, almost as if one was required to fill in the missing spaces according to one's own experience. The images were clichés anyway, which have a basic universality but expression of zero. In effect they were almost meaningless. The end result was no sparkling interaction and no poetic progression. Perhaps rhythm and meter were spot on and rhyme exceptional but the verse carried nothing. Even set to music it would be banal.

I don't intend continuing in this critical vein although I will try and provide an example of what I mean by simple and complex imagery. Let us take a complex idea, say: 'my headache is caused by nervous exhaustion and my heartache by emotional stress due to a relationship break-up'.

First, let’s try something simple :

‘With burning eyes like cats in fires,
a head of confetti and axle grease,
a moment’s disgrace to wear my face
in agony of my love’s decease.
My heart and my head would have me dead
and in death I couldn’t rest in peace.’

And the complex:

‘She left me in a cardiac arrest,
the verge of cerebral aneurysm,
I’ll live forever in distress
though I will survive the cataclysm.’

I can imagine, 'burning eyes like cats in fires' evoking a more imaginative response than, 'she left me in a cardiac arrest, the verge of cerebral aneurysm'. It is a case of horses for courses, of course, and where I poke fun at the complex others may appreciate it for its 'clinical' correctness. But believe me, I wouldn't use it except to poke fun. Like I'm doing now...