Brisbane Broncos Rule!

There’s cheers and beers and bandoliers
in the Red Hill Leagues Club bars tonight.
Brisbane Broncos are the premiers with a long,
long reign firmly in their sights.

Hell, we don’t conceal we’re parochial
in Queensland, but the best team won in clover, and
all you NSW also-rans can go to…, well, you know
where, quietly please, we’re still bloody hung-over.

For you Yankees, the game is Rugby League,
invented for men to play without armour plate,
and the guys don’t look like executive fairies or
overweight steroid abusers with low IQs.

Not all of them anyway, Melbourne Storm,
the team we beat, are great candidates for conversion
to American Football, being as it were, failed
executive fairies and steroid abusers withal.

Our game’s different from that other code (called AFL)
where players jump like ballet clone wanna-be flossies
and ponce around the field in flashy singlets and, almost
to a man, extremely tight, genital-clutching, uniform shorts.

You could be excused for occasionally getting the wrong
idea about them but around 87,000 people obviously did
by attending that final on Saturday. However, it was in
Melbourne, which just about explains everything.

You’ll note I haven’t mentioned Rugby Union, the game
they play in Heaven (though they share an ex-Leaguie
or two, can’t stop the bastards from switching codes) which
bodes well for the Rugby World Cup in France next year.

I think the Kiwis will win – Jesus, if they don’t
we’ll laugh them off the Western Plains, pee in their
beer and hold an hysterical Honour Guard as they
board the plane home in tears…
© I.D. Carswell

Crikey, it's all in good fun folks... I promise you I didn't mean that about executive fairies and steriod abusers.