Never Noticed Except At First And Last

Lesser and lesser,
a fading like paint on grand façades
never noticed except at first and last,
the one when bright and new
and the other as an unsettling absence
of rich lustre you once knew,
or a peeling or a cracking or a flaking away
of what may have been.

The years could be many intervening
between the two recognitions
or too feebly few
and there is no comfort in knowing the change.
It would seem the ask to grasp years
and hold onto change has always failed,
the histories dull and lifeless, the pictures
floating in a disloyal inner stream
of disconnected awareness.

So when I turn
to kiss your hair, or smile in my sleep it is
where I have returned to beginnings
freed of time’s restraint, able to
connect and be aware again.
© I.D. Carswell 2007-02-10