2007 Election Meanderings...

Elect Me In Bennelong

I’m the man for your future; forget the fact
I’ll hand to Pete the baton, yeah that’s Peter
‘Big Ears’ Costello – Treasurer of all of those
foregone years, a bloke with wry sneer and
dry cough for personality. It’s time for me to
hang upside-down in a closet where I can
let my personality take command. Y’ see
I’m a fruit bat masquerading as a vampire,
no talent to show – but the masque tells you
that. What we need is stability, I’m your man
because I know when to tell the lies we have
to hear. So I’ll be riding in Pete’s ear, humming
the tune he’ll sing. Elect me in Bennelong,
Honest John, you need me back.
© 14 October 2007, I. D. Carswell

Who Indeed Needs Who?

Could you please explain
what it means when an
ageing Leader says, I’ll hand
the reigns to my Deputy –
but only AFTER the election...?

Is the Deputy a ham who
couldn’t win alone? I feel
quite sceptical guessing
a least abstruse reason
crucial to that admission.

Consider a Leader-elect so
lacking in demand he won’t
command fashionable appeal
enough to succeed to the
highest Office of the Land.

Put in proper place it means
the Deputy has no chance to
lead if his Party doesn’t win
again. So he needs his Leader
to succeed – and thus to reign.

The question then becomes
quite obvious – doesn’t it? A
lame duck Deputy; think of it,
outside of PM &Treasury – who
indeed needs who?
© 22 October 2007, I. D. Carswell

Eleven And A Half Years (of Lies)
Eleven and a half years he’s been the Man,
seems like only yesterday he ran second
in a flibber-lipped race to change his image;
he was the vision of tack and dowdiness
back then, but look at his Lordship today!

Just 68 years young and full of cunning, for a
while he was doing all the running needed to
keep the Government on rails – no mean feat
leading a bunch of gays you’d be hard pressed
to find a firm heartbeat among.

He’s called the election at last, waited until a
blast of full moon lunacy inspired him to wage
a six week campaign ending 24 November; the
pollsters say the gimp’s a canny imp – knows his
play with an ease of sleaze that bares the soul.

Promise #1 is tax cuts of $34b offered the first
day he is officially caretaker PM. Stranger than
fiction, he could have announced it any time
before Sunday as Government strategy – to give
hard-pressed, tax-burdened families a break.

That’s not the take for the Man – whose view
is, “you’ve never had it so good,” and, “you’ll
never be as well off under them as me”. So
he’s buying votes with a largesse which belies
the currency of eleven and a half years of lies.
© 16 October 2007, I. D. Carswell


His Subtlety Lost Me
So,
you don’t know
who you’re goanna*
vote for already;

you’ve five weeks left
of a trashy campaign to
decide to re-elect or reject
the Prophet of Doom

who claims a vote for the
other team is a joke in
bad taste and you’ll live
to regret it, mate...

A vote for him however,
(that’s PoD) is a vote
indubitably in good taste
and continued stability;

oh, and should he win he’ll
TRACK YOU DOWN IF YOU DIDN’T
and stick the needle in –
don’t YOU worry about that!

His ad campaign makes it
plain all ALP voters are
insane – people who
need institutionalising.

His subtlety lost me there,
seems I’m not stupid enough
to see the plain and the obvious –
but maybe I can;

if you’re goanna be convinced
by that sort of crap,
you sure don’t need
good government.
© 19 October 2007, I. D. Carswell

*Makes more sense than ‘gonna’



Please Tell Us If It Is Going To Rain
Cripes, me old mate Jeff Seeney MP put it
to rest, there’s no possibility says he of an
exception to awesome predictive powers
the Coalition commands. The far-seeing
MP answered a burning question: What can
Queensland farmers expect after the Federal
election? No change says he if John Howard
is returned – good-o, and with any real luck
our seasonal outlook will improve. On the
other hand if that other mob gets in – well
you’re in for a hard road my man, the things
that will happen are terrible and nothing can
deflect that. He then goes on to predict how
it would rip the heart out of the land. Jeff’s
an honest chap – misguided perhaps, maybe
a trifle naive, but when it comes to far-seeing
he wears his heart on his sleeve. No change
vs great change is predicted with an uncanny
eye to detail – a true visionary who sees into
a future of events following immutable paths
joined irrevocably to political history, whether
relevant or not. Fascinating stuff Jeff. All that
mumbo jumbo aside mate, can you get onto
something really useful please, like can you
tell us if it is going to rain?
© 25 October 2007, I. D. Carswell