Despair Turned Disbelief

the scan took thirty
hours to run, found nine
incidents but still despair
turned disbelief –

perhaps it prevented
something dramatic
transcending the regular,
ordinary routine.

I’ll never know.

But this incredulity hinged
on my not caring –
it came as a surprise
I’d sunk so low

but there you are;
the problem is that
where you are is
where I’d rather be.

Nine potentially
catastrophic incidents
paled because nothing
changed either way

the system still works,
you aren’t here
and all prospects
remain dull gray
© 18 December 2008, I. D. Carswell