If the cap ain’t on the toothpaste
tube it wasn’t me – although you’d
never guess why a grown man goes
ape over such details. Or would we?
There are toilet seat dilemmas too,
one daren’t pee with it down no
matter how steady the aim – the
blame is both ways & unrelenting.
We could keep on in this vein but
fair to say give and take should go
both ways; therefore I say the floor
is REALLY where I store my clothes.
Used the bed or bedroom chest –
until a unilateral edict suggested a
better place was in drawers or on
over-stacked shelves in wardrobes.
Those things consume or hide my
best gear I propose, I need to see
what I am likely to wear before it
becomes an unresolvable cliché.
I cannot choose what I cannot see –
sorry if it lacks imagination but one
pair on the floor suits me whereas
twenty in the drawer is a mockery.
If it suits you I will squeegee walls
of the shower screen diligently after
use in return for the toothpaste tube
cap fitted back in place by you.
But please, it’s not my sole request;
you see, for best results we squeeze
toothpaste from the bottom of the tube,
not, repeat, not, the goddamn top!
© 23 April 2008, I. D. Carswell