02 October 2008

Does Your Semen Smell Like Camembert? (rev)


Does your semen smell like camembert?
It’s just a thought today I had at lunch; I
must have had the hunch before,
perhaps reversed – and then forgot.

It’s not the sort of thought you’d have a
lot unless you tend to make a sport of it –
rather like an onanist with flying fist.
So where did it occur?

I found the block of camembert was hard
as rock – well not as soft I thought it aught
to be, so thirty seconds on each side
would see it micro-waved to body heat.

I agree, I cannot drive a microwave; I couldn’t
save the lump of cheese from running out to
meet me and the slice of rye – though spread
it did with ease. And thus I learned the link.

Should your lover say your semen smells like
fragrant grass take her to task – say it’s really
camembert, and don’t despair if she should
laugh, just micro-wave your jolly staff.
© 2005, I.D. Carswell

4 comments:

  1. Anonymous3:28 am

    I microwaved some Camembert the other day and was so disturbed by the smell that I'm thinking I'll never want Camembert again.

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  2. Perhaps the right ploy is to let the cheese stand on the bench rather than use the microwave to hasten things. I get the impression it is an intervention rather lacking in finesse!

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  3. Anonymous3:19 pm

    Headcheese. Redefined.

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  4. I couldn't agree more! A very apt redefinition...

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