Knowing Why

I’m not in the mood to write
tonight – your good humour
disdains my parlous state
‘tho tastefully refrains from
making mawkish faces

No elixir I imbibe will ease
my case though I survive by
being last and late; as if you
ever really cared – all things
alleviate when you’re here

But then you’re gone away;
in the space of a heart-beat
things derange – I cannot
see that sense makes sane
judgements there

Better a peasant wind blows
where it pleases – surely by
chance not pure constraint;
this is a need to take to task
and a fear I have to face

I’m not in the mood to write
tonight and ask forgiveness
for my chariness; rest I’d try
if you were here – basking
in the glow of knowing why
© 18 June 2009, I. D. Carswell