Gollum’s Tongue

si, I’m ‘eem who shatt ‘eez pantz; 

there was a chance I’d be able to 
blame someone - like Gollum, for 
th’ indiscretion, but he’s in a third 
change of daks already for today 

being a Politician that is a steady 
rate - and don’t suppose this lot’ll  
stink in the Parliament, morning’s 
interviews are scenes of many a 
script too seriously ad-libbed 

not unusual for Gollum’s tongue 
to glibly run out of tissue leaving 
gaps in a reality dreamed just in 
case a change of pants became 
his ‘legislated’ saving grace, so 

I’m ‘eem in ‘eez ‘crapped-in pants’  

is thus a euphemism for saying 
I’m doing my job extremely well 
misrepresenting everybody but 
myself - with th’ pants t’ prove it 

© 2 April 2014, I. D. Carswell