19 October 2014

Here


It is an invidious mutation of insomnia - not 
that I can’t sleep - or don’t, but the fear’s in 
awe of what happens if you’re not ‘aware’ - 

So I’m awake worrying where this will lead, 
awake in the sense I’m at least not asleep - 
concerned I’m not ready to be ‘elsewhere’ 

And there’s the dilemma; ‘here’ is going to 
cease, nothing can alter its passing into an 
another place - not even me when I awake 

But being aware hasn’t made this here any 
easier to depart from - was always there; if 
you awoke, supposedly in consciousness, 

The same things crowded in to greet you, it 
was always the way it seemed; now I’m lost 
imagining where it’ll go; There’ll have to be 

Space and solidity to awaken in, guarantee 
that and I’ll be really pleased - if somewhat 
bereaved - but I can live with that, easily… 

© 24 September 2014, I. D. Carswell