30 November 2014

Chutney Express


Wasn’t entirely wasted, while a dearth of patience 
near scuttled our ship-fast progress we sailed in a 
blue assurance that we knew what we were doing 

The easy bit’s making the special chutney or jam; 
be assured, no ‘technical misfeasance’ there, yet, 
& said tongue in cheek, let’s await the applause 

You ever tried to print jam jar labels; you intend to 
do the right thing, clearly list the ingredients so all 
buyers know what’s in it and who to blame, but - 

Where the hell is a set of easily deciphered rules 
to create labels that actually fit your template; the 
irony is there’s no lack of suggestions available - 

Many more than any potential recipe differences
you’d arbitrate upon without qualm, and that’s an 
undeniable, non-technical jurisdictional capacity 

Where you are right without question, but a label 
is a one-sided piece of sticky tape whose reading 
area is unerasable as well as profoundly chaste 

So you print 40 test pages before you get to one 
that is almost there, & no joy of accomplishment 
lifts your spirits, you’re staring at bedlam’s bait  

All this for a jar of jam, it can hardly be worth the 
straights of angst you try to say - and press print 
with frozen breath, and - hollah, we live again! 

© 17 November 2014, I. D. Carswell