20 December 2014

Am I Dreamin’


That 3pm thunderstorm was was a non-event - 
while the rumbles promised everything it leant 
over backwards to upset only the dog; he was 
prostrate in the kitchen pretending while I, the 
weather guru, was miffed so few drops of rain 
descended from a threatening sky; why waste 
time spitting anything if birds don’t pause their 
singing - to me such desultory rain suggests 

That amazingly animated weather map is a 
malicious creation of recondite jest, & yes it 
went overhead on its way out to sea without 
disproportionately endangering anyone other  
than Podge’s inordinate sense of calm - and 
he affords me that accusatory canine glare 

I say, well mate here’s th’ bloody radar map, 
supposedly we’re ‘where Crohamhurst’s at’, 
or is that in error too; - heavy rain we were 
supposed to get missed us by millimetres - 
thunder’s everywhere but’ve y’ felt or seen 
a lightening strike to get so damned upset 

Crikey, says me mate Podge, turn y’ bloody 
hearing aids on ’n take off the shades - yer 
not back in the Army - see th’ power just flit 
or am I losing the plot too - and the rain’s a 
damn sight heavier ’n it’s been since 3 pm 
so maybe we’re screwed, or am I dreamin’ 
© 8 December 2014, I. D. Carswell


With all the drama we still only received 3.5mm