02 September 2014

Surviving TV

Don’t like saying it this way but the advertising 
style I’ve seen on our local TV is too off-beam 
to be taken seriously; either that or I missed a 
cue at the bank. The piece leading this pustch 
involved plans for funeral funding where even 
weekly commitments bettered all lavish ideas 
of exotic weddings - that was next in a series, 
with dog-bathing rounding up the wrap 

And if it wasn’t enough there’s the eHarmony 
sequences on how to find your best match, if 
you’re enthusiastically into on-line dating with 
money-back guarantees; well okay - it leaves 
one puzzled a bit but isn’t the reason for 5am 
TV - because that had something to do with

the Glasgow Commonwealth Games … 

© 30 July 2014, I. D. Carswell

01 September 2014

Mendicants Fee

The pact ‘we’ll beat this beast’ is with yourself, 
left unsaid is, or get a hiding that’ll reverberate; 
no need be indebted before registration of this 
cogent & obvious distaste for an enemy’s viral 
weaponry, and duplicit industry’s collaboration 
you remind yourself: if vaccination against ‘flu 
is the key to avoiding suffering, you’d need a 
cast iron guarantee it will actually work - but - 

There’s no compensation paid should you fall 
foul of feral anarchy abounding in viral plague; 
don’t be so naive, strains change of whim way 
out of your ken, & when hearing spokes-cow’s 
explanations, they’re never the culprits, oh no, 
according to their definition - that’s heresy - 

So while the money rolls in you’d agree its got 
to be true, and you’re committed to a defence 
against enemy using similar viruses exactly as 
they, to infiltrate & imperil both your health and 
what’s left of your sanity; ok then, so now pay 
a mendicant’s fee to the irony in that … 

© 23 July 2014, I. D. Carswell

31 August 2014

Clementine’s Day

After all it was Clementine’s day and in the nub 
of it we’re there for her smile. Now whether one 
may be unimpressed by due ceremony baptism 
didn’t phase her ‘royalness’, though it has ways 
of levelling you when you’re one year of age - 

in her own way she gave of herself, with purest 
magnetism - affording an insight into whom she 
will soon be; and she exudes confidence that’s  
unlikely to be the cherry-ripe, random-selected 
bin leavings of faux celebrity acclaim - 

rather this is the style of one who’s closer to an 
earth she sees, as a thoughtful & well-founded 
expression of where she is presently; meaning 
‘wait and see’ isn’t an ‘ok, convince me!’ sense 
of ‘who am I’ - or skewed demand for attention 

No, Clemie is above all that; so hey - welcome 
to a World we’d thought we’d tamed to lived in; 
seems we’re off any pace Clementine deigned 
to grace, and its change welcome to break the 
disingenuous embrace of such blasphemy

© 20 July 2014, I. D. Carswell 

29 August 2014

Walking The Dog

This status symbol of my guilt suggests 
the man walking the dogs isn’t me - but 
my dog rests easy, his coat’s clean and 
free of fleas & hunger pangs; least way 
he sees me twice a day when we greet 

We have plans for the long weekend, a 
pet shop trip for the new leash, which’ll
be necessary when we arrive at Boney 
Beach where we camp, all dogs under 
control please and no littering 

While I can’t speak for him he appears 
at peace with the World as we’re good 
pals who play their roles well, I quickly 
see when he’s troubled, calling for the 
handler who allays my fears; he’s a  

Bit like you he says, needs assurance 
and comfort of regular routines; it isn’t 
easy to achieve in situational mayhem 
were regulations change in eye blinks 
of carolled whimsey - such as if

Ownership won’t be granted unless an 
owner-to-be passes an agreed series 
of liberal-view tests as to who actually 
controls who, independently assessed 
by a certified, unconnected third party 

Which I see as unlikely to be me 

© 19 July 2014, I. D. Carswell

Welcome Home Stella (& All)

With your recent gadding about you’d concede 
that the least you’d have ever needed to recall 
would be second degree burns from Singapore 
noodles; sure you’ll have a scald proving it was 
Changi’s bowl of steaming hot soup rather than 
an exotic radiation burn, near miss Buk missile 
or disingenuous Scandinavian excursion under 
a solar eclipse that went disagreeably awry 

But the deal is you’re home again - gorgeously 
in one piece and ready to splice the mainbrace 
with your effervescent brand of humour; thank 
goodness for that - the reality is this part of the 
Planet’s a far nicer place when you’re in it, not 
to say Stockholm isn’t, but you were missed … 

© 25 July 2014, I. D. Carswell

28 August 2014

Selected To Receive

Must be the age group I’m in, or 
misguided belief we’re correctly 
targets of telephone scammers; 
yes, of course we’d bought new 
telephony recently - by choice & 
without prejudice after checking 
all the options, but in an opening 
line emphatically stating we’ve 

been selected to receive ‘bonus’ 
payment of $1,000.00, whatever 
may’ve been a hinted credibility 
simply vanished; didn’t occur to 
say ‘wow’ - or answer those tacit 
questions implied as a necessity 

in the event apologies for lack of 
interest (less expression of utter 
disbelief) were decently relayed - 
and call ended; but likely it wont 
be the last of the genre received 
if our number’s in their bag 

© 18 July 2014, I. D. Carswell

27 August 2014

What You Came To See

If you’d take time to ‘read’ through the 
Tax Office taxonomy you can find how 
many intriguing ways to file tax returns 
are available - in lip-sync tables of glib 
bureau-speak you’ll quickly see why it 
is the province of accountants - I’d say 
‘bless’m’ but that’s the least they need 
to guarantee what’s their safe return 

When you’d played the game properly, 
obeying rules an on-line beast okays - 
you’re allowed the freedom to guess if 
what you’re about to reveal is in same 
or similar parlance to what they like to 
feast upon gravidly - more-or-less, 

But don’t get cheeky; responses to the 
categories of in-vogue sequenced ‘yes
no’ indices leads one to believe there’s  
bound to be rhyme or reason back of it, 
meaning you’ve lost your way; but wait, 
it says you don’t have to pay anything 

Seriously, that’s what you came to see 

© 24 July 2014, I. D. Carswell

26 August 2014

Woodsman, No Way

Whomever painted th’ picture as a cosy domestic 
scene of husband - axe in hand, the wheelbarrow 
and a determined look missed the obvious; this is 
work called wood gathering; make no error, it is 
not identification of leisure activity, and two hours 
later all energy’s gone - enthusiasm spent. Sure it 
isn’t exactly the same, in this instance there’s two 
chainsaws, axe, handsaw, tractor & trailer: - now 

that isn’t as homely or cute is it; but any less and 
we’d still be felling the old tree by the dam. While 
the idea can be appealing its only motivation is a 
graphically expressed frigidity of frost-dead leaf 6 
feet up the trees; if expressed as the ‘freedom’ of 
living naturally - you’d need to get used to that! 

© 22 July 2014, I. D. Carswell

25 August 2014

Anarchic Spontaneity

Yeah, I like this anarchic spontaneity, it means 
the pizza idea decided at midday can be freed 
a frozen beginning, least that’s how it seemed 
until opening the refrigerator; yep, got cheese, 
onion, any capsicum, nah, marinara - yo, what 
about olives, to go, bacon & salami here also - 
mushrooms, no, used all of ‘em last night, so 
where are the anchovies - in the pantry 

The bread maker has a handle on great pizza 
dough without an hour’s personal dedication to 
any tedious kneading, so that’s an early bonus 
as long as there’s enough flour and yeast - it is 
easy peasy and in the bag mate, we only need 
mushrooms and one capsicum 

It means a quick trip to the greengrocer, lucky 
there’s one three minutes away, a no dramas 
trip with the local drum on what’s going down - 
pizza eh, easier to order one in isn’t it, maybe 
but my rep wouldn’t survive Eagle Boy’s glee 
telling their side of that home delivery

© 17 July 2014, I. D. Carswell

24 August 2014


a simple view is no need weighs as much 
as collective bargaining power in a prey’s 
greed; sick isn’t it - where do the optional 
targets of ‘compassionate’ administration 
ever rate fair deals; power in every sense 
degenerates morality - the more handled 
the greater the bleed, & we’re the minted 
currency rapaciously squeezed 

we’re not underrated - just freely bled, its 
easier creating surplus gore occasionally 
than making more debate inroads into an 
inequity that exists entirely as an excuse 
to keep the cash cow ambivalent, we will 
all start to die away soon - gradually 

© 16 July 2014, I. D. Carswell 

23 August 2014

Crimea Revisited

Regardless what you think Putin’s Crimea 
incursion isn’t all that unique - the Ukraine 
isn’t free of Russian influence any more’n 
sturgeons don’t produce eggs collectively 
called caviar; not that you’d agree there’d 
ever be ‘connections’ between Black Sea 
& Caspian products a-gracing your palate 
without you claiming to know about ‘em 

But then Black Sea’s access to what we’d 
like to think of as ‘our’ body of water - The 
Mediterranean, has that ageless mystique 
dating from the very inception of maritime  
history - even Muscovites know it as well 
as does any other classical European 

So if Ukraine ever gets its poop together, 
and it won’t be easy, all Ukrainians don’t 
necessarily agree with their government 
about NATO, or EC - then Vladimir’s got 
fair gripes about that escrows influence 
and what might be free sturgeon’s roe… 

© 31 July 2014, I. D. Carswell


Movement in the right direction didn't 
seem divine insight & flights of fancy 
weren’t always indulgences imagined; 
most delight came in recognising the 
potential perplexity of a flaw’s recipe 

So we invent a regime where change is 
ordinary-and-day-to-day - events don’t 
always sequence, instead a dovetailing 
of uncoordinated dis-contiguity lends a 
constant of unerring credulousness 

That defuses surplus energy we had 
stored for a rainy day - stuff we never 
get to wrestle any normal which-way 
yet still clandestinely debilitates all 
those normality precepts supposed 

We’ll sleep on it, easier’n shearing a 
beast you say, enjoying indifference 
steeped in staid, common parlance 
indoctrinated with someone’s waking 
view of what’s purportedly native wit 

But sleep only dulls the need, or cures 
fugitive belief it hones instincts into an 
insightfully keened rearward view of 
the same old precepts - and they’re 
going nowhere endlessly; so 

Novelty is the cue - an unavoidable
consequence of direction lost in truth 
means any movement bears some 
grace offering better reasons to avoid 
the farce of staying only in one place 

© 14 July 2014, I. D. Carswell

22 August 2014

Midge Season

It is midge season again - an imposition in an 
awareness one could easily bear without; tho’ 
things you can see scare within meaning they 
wear invisibility auguring unwell - its an omen
if you will and until they actually bite you’ll still 
claim folklore created the blight; o’ rest ye well 
until the first itch flares were th’ myth rears its 
irascible head into reality of an ugly red spot 

So scratch-reflex dares you try stop it, a plight 
wearing agonies of ages, you quote an epithet 
you will when you bleed - cursing damn things
you can’t see to believe in, becoming one who 
wagers these fears will bring a calamitous end 
forever to the heterogeneous baring of skin 

© 12 July 2014, I. D. Carswell

21 August 2014

Barbarism’s Creature-Name

So we send ‘em an explicit video of some 
‘vigilantes’ beheading a Jihadist terrorist; 
they don’t ask him to apologise or explain 
necessity of the decapitation or harangue 
with Jihadist ‘leadership’ to get on track of 
appropriately peaceful means to solve all 
their difficulties or even in fact facetiously 
mention aspects of religion at all; - and, 

There’s no explication or justification, just 
credits and the act plus publication rights 
drifted across the HD screen - with player 
names and copyright prominent; even the 
terrorist gets a mention, and all of it while 
graphically bleeding to death 

Now why would you consider that greater 
insult than a trite, intoned-rites-iteration of
‘justified’ barbarism’s creature-name; you 
will say it is a covenant of faith - for a cult 
of zealots slaughtering in religious sham 
& bigotry - and can’t see a difference … 
© 20 August 2014, I. D. Carswell

It seems at least one of the Jihadist group responsible for 
journalist James Foley’s televised murder was in fact a 
British citizen currently engaged in acts of terror in Syria. 
Isis, as the breakaway Islamic State is named, may not 
practise Islam according to the Q’ran, but instead uses 

religious terror as a weapon to gain control and power

20 August 2014

Ferguson, Mo

Whether Darren Wilson acted in fear of his own 
safety would seem difficult to explain - the sixth 
round fired made any excuses about restraint a 
nullity - on the other hand Michael Brown didn’t 
get an ounce of largesse in either surrendering 
or trying to run from danger, or more wounds; I 
cannot see Police in Ferguson, Missouri, were 
acting reservedly in a defensible sense either 

The Police Chief suggests their ‘role’ permits a 
statutory right to defend against any assessed 
or real dangers as for any citizen - saying in as 
many words they’re bearing arms in protection 
of themselves from the people they’re obliged 
to protect from themselves - shoo hooey! 

There’re some changes needed in Missouri, in 
effect police are employees of citizens they’re 
supposed to protect from themselves, or did it 
lose something in translating the idea into this 
riotous freelance citizen’s occasion where the 
crime is in protesting about lack of protection 
© 20 August 2014, I. D. Carswell

19 August 2014

Clive’s Rant

Clive is at it again whey hey, o rancour a-Billy Oh, 
he’s out there having his lusty say, with a ho hum 
and bring ’em down - the Chinese complained he
drained their funds, so bling ling let’s have some 
fun and spend it all on chocolate bars - whoopee 

It seems our ‘Palmer United Party’ leader is less 
y’all ’n more me than his usually extroverted rustic 
self or’ve we misunderstood which modus th’ PUP 
Senator hides behind if he’s into slanging matches 
concerning his soured business deals 

So we hear Clive Palmer’s invective about all the 
Communist Chinese politicians attempting, in his 
view, a takeover of Australian Ports while paying 
nothing for th’ ore we’re graciously shipping ‘em, 
& hey, they should be glad we’re ripping ‘em off 

But he’s not explaining why its his alleged $12m 
company funds syphoning that succeeded in off-
siding his Chinese ex-business partners to start 
Court proceedings for recovery, nor’ll it be likely 
we hear their side of the story either - whey hey 

© 19 August 2014, I. D. Carswell

18 August 2014

Propriety Poop

Propriety poop is what I see - displaying a picture 
of Tony Abbott’s salacious wink, the true gauge of 
his Neo nefarious character is un-linkable, or so it 
seems; maybe it’s a political correctness’s age of 
distressed constipated excess at seeing what we 
really elected as our Leader - possibly - yet much 
more likely it is the ’copyright argument’s’ slanted 
propriety twisted into ingenuously snobbish bias 

C’est la vie, I’m not particularly impressed by this 
‘google-ness’ yet deal with it daily - like using an 
air-conditioner with propensity for malfunctioning 
when gauging one’s character, you will never be 
comfortable with the atmosphere unless you’re a 
key figure seated where it’s controls used to be 

© 11 July 2014, I. D. Carswell

16 August 2014

Tattooed Confused

Being unimpressed with your tatts isn’t the pits 
but there’s a bit of selective cynicism back of it - 
tattoos are blasé man, a yawn and boring at its 
best iteration; so what is it behind macho geste 
needing you to be marked so for life man - with 
no way out of it barring laser treatment - or is it 
exactly that - a grotesque feint of fate you wear 
as gesture of irascible distain for the ordinaire 

So what do you say to being so ordinary that to 
blend with one tenth of humanity so beset in its 
‘tattoo-land’ you joined a clique whose ‘choices’ 
were to be different, yet at best so brazenly the 
same it amazes no-one comments about it; but 
there you go in your au fait quest for originality 

© 16 August 2014, I. D. Carswell

15 August 2014

Predatory Snooze

So we indulge in a wee bit of shuteye just 
after midday - predatory snooze designed 
to restore instinct, focus energies; it might 
brighten a gelid morning’s otherwise braw 
intransigence - it’ll be a gloomy evening’s 
dewfall with eyelid’s hoar-frosted shutters 
drooping, an endurance I’m not impatient 
for unless thru this repose’s invention 

Must’ve been something we ate you claim, 
that bits and bobs leftover ‘creation’, it had 
us awake 2am for the soccer match yet to 
be played - that’s on Wednesday dammit - 
so here I am 15 mins abed for a catnap to 
clear the shelves - bowels already free 

As such, the woe-is-me translates beer for 
lunch as infamy’s primary candidate - that 
excuse exonerates a small part of me age 
accuses of indigence, but I’m not properly 
over the ‘flu either - desolately explaining 
nothing except need-to-be-heard, maybe

© 8 July 2014, I. D. Carswell

14 August 2014

WRWC - 2014

And despite atrociously blasé refereeing - there 
are off-side rules you know, Canada managed to 
beat ‘Les Belles’ Francaise, a WRWC semi-final, 
18 - 16; they will meet England in Sunday’s final 

Tho if you’d dare suggest th’ girls were too meek 
to make it a real contest - think again; the energy 
invested wasn’t only displayed in cool hairdos or 
wicked braiding, though there were some to see 

On-the-field etiquette differs a bit from ‘manners’ 
expressed in gentle-womanly handbooks; and if 
they exist then they’ll need to be rewritten quite 
comprehensively by these emancipated ladies 

Real combat at ruck & maul laid the panty-waist 
claims to rest -  and battles of brawn vs wits lost 
nothing in the dramatic test; emotion and energy 
were partnered with speed and agility, even the 

Impact tackles made cause involuntary tears to 
a cliche of genderless eyes regardless, & rite of 
passage suggests bases for ‘natural’ selection’s 
successes start right there on a field of contest 

But they didn’t lose their femininity pursuing ‘the 
enemy’ aggressively, as wont of a way of saying; 
indeed the beauty of many became iconic in the 
on-field deeds they performed with real finesse 

And in the end - their emotion acclaimed 
© 14 August 2014, I. D. Carswell

Woman’s Rugby World Cup (France) 2014